Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Is Intuitive Eating Just Another Diet?

It can be. I spent my first two months of this journey treating intuitive eating like just another diet. I know I am not alone on this one. I have read many posts on several different forums from people who are obviously approaching intuitive eating in the same way one would approach a diet. It makes sense that people do this. For most of us the only way we have ever approached changing our eating habits is to diet. As a result, the diet mentality is fully ingrained in us. I decided to post about my experience with treating intuitive eating like a diet in the hopes that it may help others navigate through this common obstacle.

I was beyond excited when I first learned about intuitive eating. I rushed out and bought Breaking Free from Emotional Eating by Geneen Roth, and I devoured it. I had never heard of this non-dieting approach before. I dived in headfirst and lost ten pounds in two months, which is about the same rate I lost weight when I was following Weight Watchers very closely. Then I hit a wall. I just couldn’t do it anymore, and I couldn’t figure out what went wrong. Wasn’t intuitive eating the solution to all of my food related problems? I have since realized where I went wrong. I was approaching intuitive eating in the same way that I have approached every diet I have ever been on.

I was using Geneen Roth's eating guidelines like a set of rules. I was religious about following them, much in the same way I had been religious about counting points when I was on Weight Watchers. I approached her hunger scale in the same way. Every time I ate, I would check in with the hunger scale every few bites. I had to make sure that I never ate past satisfaction! I had to make sure that I was eating intuitively correctly at all times because I really wanted it to work for me.

I was also very excited about intuitive eating. I still am but in a totally different way. My excitement at first was the same excitement I felt every time I started a new diet. I felt like finally I had found that magic pill. This time I was going to be able to lose the weight and keep it off forever. Incidentally, I was ignoring one very important piece of advice from Geneen Roth. I was still weighing myself almost every day. I couldn’t see the harm in it. I was losing weight! Wouldn’t weighing myself just motivate me to continue with intuitive eating?

I never messed up. I ate intuitively perfectly for almost two months. That's how I typically am when I start a new diet. On my last stint with Weight Watchers, I never went over my points for even one day for the first four months. I have been deeply entrenched in the all or nothing diet mentality for a long time. In my first two months of intuitive eating, I was completely oblivious to this fact. When I started to not be able to eat intuitively every time I ate, I started to feel guilty that I couldn’t stick to it. I started to feel like a failure. I found myself binging and overeating more and more often. Sound familiar? I was following intuitive eating, but I was still firmly entrenched in the diet cycle.

If you are worried that you might be using intuitive eating like a diet, there are a few questions you can ask yourself. Think back to how you felt when starting new diets in the past. How do they compare to how you feel about intuitive eating? Is your approach the same or is it different? What about that all or nothing diet mentality? When you overeat or eat when you aren’t hungry, what goes through your head? Do you feel guilty? Guilt is a telltale sign that you are wrapped up in diet thinking.

What do you do if you realize that you are treating intuitive eating like diet? First, I would like to say congratulations! You have just taken a major step in your intuitive eating journey just by realizing that. Everyone is different, so this is a very individual process. I can share what has helped me move out of the diet cycle.

I don't care about eating intuitively perfectly anymore. If I overeat or eat when I'm not hungry, I don't get mad at myself. When I start to think about a time I "messed up," I immediately think about the last time I ate intuitively. I focus on the positive, not the negative.

I have also realized that I eat as a way to avoid emotions, so I have been working on letting myself feel my emotions and getting comfortable with them. I never thought that I ate for emotional reasons because I thought I was eating out of boredom most of the time. I have since discovered that eating out of boredom is a form of emotional eating. I was turning to food because I wasn't comfortable just being with myself. Eating was a way for me to prevent the emotions from coming up at all.

I am active in online intuitive eating communities. This has been an essential part of my journey. I am fairly certain that I would have given up after those first two months if I hadn’t had the support and advice from other people who were further along on the intuitive eating path.

I know this doesn’t apply to all intuitive eaters. I have read blog posts from people who have been doing this for only a few weeks, obviously really understand intuitive eating and are clearly moving out of the diet cycle. Maybe you are one of those people. Or maybe you are like me. It doesn’t really matter either way. The only thing that matters is that you recognize where you are at and move through this process in whichever way is best for you.

101 comments:

Andrea K said...

Thanks for telling your story. I think a lot of people will relate to your experience, and hopefully they'll realize that initially approaching IE in the diet mentality is common and is not a sign of "failing."

I have tried to not feel like I'm screwing up if I eat when I'm not hungry or eat past satisfied. I view the "not hungry eating" as trying to return to a more natural eating style: not restricting myself to specific meal times, as well as relearning how to be satisfied with a smaller amount of food instead of eating the entire box, bag, etc.

As for the hunger scales and eating past satisfaction, I'm taking each eating opportunity as a chance to get better acquainted with my body. After a meal I can say, "Okay, that's what satisfied feels like," or "This is how it feels to be full but not stuffed." I can pay attention to the signs, so in time I can instinctively know when I'm reaching the satiety point I want.

I'm still dealing with scale issues, but I just went five days without weighing, which is a huge accomplishment for me. I'd love to eventually never get on (or want to), but for now I'm being patient with myself.

Thanks again for reminding us that the point of IE is to give up the all-or-nothing, perfectionist thinking.

Leah said...

Thank you. In the past I have made IE into diet: I am trying hard to not make this undiet into undiet-diet this time around. I have not weighed myself since I started, I know the scale has way too much power over my mood and my eating. I like the confirmations you provided me, thank you.

~C~ said...

This is a great post! It is so true. I think when I first started IE, I thought it was the golden key. All I had to do was eat when hungry and stop when satisfied. Hey, I did that on core. I could do it again. What I didn't realize is that in order to get to the bottom of my food and body issues, I had to do the work. I am just now in the beginning stages of tackling the emotions behind my eating. It is scarey, but it feels good to know that I can one day have a healthy relationship with food.

Gemma said...

Your story reminded me a lot of the start of my own journey - turning IE into another set of rules to follow just doesn't work does it. I had to go through it just to fully appreciate it for myself -I just won't be told sometimes :)

Now I can look at times where I have overeaten and think 'why did I do that?' and try and work through the emotional issues without any guilt, feelings of failure or a need to find a reason for the overeating based on a desire to follow the IE rules perfectly. So all in all I'm glad I went through that at the start and learned my lesson. I'm not in a rush, I'll just enjoy the scenic route!

Jen said...

What a WONDERFUL post! I had a similar experience and couldn't have said it better myself! Anyway, back from vacation and just wanted to stop by to say hello and see how things are going. Good to be back...and to come back to such an insightful blog entry! :-)

Joc said...

Your start to IE could have been my story too. I first tried IE years ago, and I approached it just like a diet, stick to the rules, dont fail etc. Then when I did inevitably fail I got so disheartened I gave up.

Now I know I can do this, I have thrown the "rule book" out, and I am trusting myself more. I have also banished the scales to the back of the wardrobe - I dont need to check daily to see if I have lost weight. Although ultimately I want to lose weight, it is not my primary goal anymore. My primary goal these days is to be at ease with food and eating, to no longer fight a battle daily over what I eat, but to go with what my body tells me, and to allow myself always to feel satisfied and at peace with the food decisions I make.

Sorry for the long comment, should have written this as a post on my own blog instead of highjacking yours LOL, in fact I think I will as I still have lots in my head about this.

Cheers :)

Mr. Squeek said...

I am proud of you. You certainly have made a change for the better. Now I think I understand why you won't step on the scale anymore.

Shauna said...

just found your blog and am enjoying it a lot. I've been moving towards this way of eating, lots of starts and stops. It definitely started out as another diet in the beginning! but I'm hoping to stop the war between me and my body. Looking forward to reading more.

Big Ass Belle said...

it is SO hard. this diet thing is so ingrained as to be almost a permanent part of me. almost.

i initially struggled with whether or not i could actually make a meal, because it seemed a few bites took the hunger away and then *poof* no more food, right? i wish i know absolutely, and since i don't, i'm just going on what gives me peace and freedom.

amazing how the craving to diet can rear its head, though. just put me in proximity to someone who's lost weight and it's as if a demon takes over my body. stunning in its intensity, this urge to just jump on another hopeless food restricting plan.

ugh. i have a lot of hope but i am also pretty frightened by it all. i have dieted for over 40 years. aside from my siblings and aprents, that's the longest relationship of my life and it's been as intimate and intense as any relationship i've ever had. me and the diet, me and the food, me and the obsession. free today, thanking the stars.

Tree Lover said...

Andrea - That's exactly what the hunger scale and the eating guidleines are meant for - to get better aquainted with our bodies. Congratulations for moving away from the scale without putting perfectionist pressures on yorself!

Leah - I'm glad my post helped you. As I said, I have realized that this is a very common IE pitfall.

C - Yes! It sounds like we took very similar IE paths.

Gemma - I'm glad that I went through this at the start, too. It taught me a lot. Enjoy the scenic route! There is a lot more to see and enjoy there.

Jen - Welcome back!

Joc - It sounds like you are on track with this whole IE thing. It really does work much better when the focus is on having a normal relationship with food instead of losing weight. I look forward to reading more about your journey on your blog, and you are welcome to hyjack mine any time you want. :)

Mr. Squeek - Thanks for the support! I love you!

Shauna - Welcome! This process really does quiet those internal food battles. It's quite amazing!

Belle - Yes, it is hard but soooo worth it! You are right that it's best to go on what gives you peace and freedom. That's the way through it. And it is amazing how those urges to diet come up, isn't it?

hayley said...

hi,
I was stumbling though the blogs today, and, as so often happens, I found a post (yours!) which related exactly to what I've been thinking about today. Thanks. h.x

Jain said...

This is a very good post Tree Lover. I know my 'head' is understanding IE, but I'm not 'getting' it in the way it was meant to be applied. One thing that trips me up is that I don't have the dieting history to reference to. Yet I am very aware that I have been infected with 'diet mentality' in ways I've yet to totally see. Reading that others have hung in there, fumbled and gotten back on track is very helpful to me so THANKS for your part :) I am determined to re-set my eating to what it always should have been - fuel oriented, not stuff face.

Tree Lover said...

Hayley - Thanks for the comment!

Jain - You raise an interesting point about not having a diet history but still having diet mentality. Diet thinking is so ingrained in our culture. It certainly isn't surprising that it has affected you. In fact, it would be surprising if it hadn't affected you!

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to thank you... I've been trying to make IE my lifestyle for months now and your blog hit the nail on the head for me.

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